Answer I hope what you've written here is true, since I spent some time replying to this question!!!
You ARE a tennis player!!! A dang nationally ranked player!! Holy $%^&. I was never nationally ranked. A lot of players never get to be; think of *them.*
I suggest you go to a sport psychologist. A very, very famous world #1 player went to one, so you could, too.
***Let's face it, the women on tour were already pro by my age.***
How are you defining the word "pro?" The WTA singles list has about 1000 players on it. Are they all pro's? I ask you that because 80-90% of them are losing money if they're traveling all over the world. Only the top 200 or so are earning more than their expenses.
The absolute minimum age for playing a tour-level event is 14, and they have very strict requirements about how many events a player this young can participate in. 15-year-olds can play more events than 14-year-olds, but again, there are limitations. Chris Evert "arrived" when she was 15, defeating World #1 Margaret Court, but that was *very* unusual, and it still is.
At the other end of the age spectrum, we have Kamiko Date-Krumm, definitely NOT a 15-year old!
http://www.wtatennis.com/players/player/1860/title/kimiko-date-krumm
2012 - 1970 = ?
***I will soon reach my national ranking, but it's like, I'll never be a pro tennis player- it's not a realistic goal anymore.***
College tennis isn't good enough for you? Geez. I thought college tennis was pretty cool.
Actually, if you're good enough to be nationally ranked in the 16's in the USA, then you are already *approaching* [on your way to] a skill level that's commensurate for the pro's. Whether that skill level is [NTRP] 5.0, or 5.5, or 6.0, I have no idea. The *bottom* 400 or 500 players on the WTA tour are roughly 6.0 to 6.5. The only ones who are 7.0 would be top 150 or so.
***teaching tennis just seems too depressing for me - if u think abt it***
So, helping other people depresses you? Hmph.
***I try talking to God about it as much as I can.***
I would talk to a priest, rabbi, cleric, etc about it, and start attending a religious service somewhere once a week. Players on the tour have problems in this area too, and often seek help in spiritual activity. You are not alone in this predicament.
***somebody please talk to me this is a freaking problem***
The odds of ANYONE reaching the top 100 in the WTA or the ATP are small, sort of like winning the lottery. Even if both Mom & Dad are tennis pro's, the family has bucks out the wazoo, the odds are still small of being able to participate in a Grand Slam event. It is largely a gift from God, and many of those who've made it know they are very lucky to be there. Conclusion: If you never play in the first round of a major, that means you're *normal.*
***It sucksso bad living with this weight on my shoulders.***
Did someone close to you say that if you don't reach the top 50 in the world, that you stink? That is TOTAL nonsense. Absolute, complete nonsense! Real tennis people would never say something like that.
There isn't a tennis player in the world who's never lost, and there aren't any who've never been bummed out for a while, just like you describe here. Roger Federer has LOST 198 matches as a professional: http://www.atpworldtour.com/Tennis/Players/Top-Players/Roger-Federer.aspx
*** I don't talk to people anymore and my relationship with my family is terrible.***
Hmm, could you meet some new people at a church, synagogue, mosque, etc. Get out of the house/apartment and force yourself to socialize a little bit - somewhere. Not easy, but worth it, IMHO.
Little by little, maybe you could patch things up one or more of your family members? Hope they aren't mean to you.
Hang in there, things will eventually get better.
If you're totally burned out with tennis, you can take a few months off, as the pro's *have to* once in a while. If you haven't been taking time off, that may be a part of your problem. After some time away from it, you can either return to practice, or say goodbye to all the sporting nonsense, become an adult, and think about a real career in something serious. Serious careers are where the money is, doing something you like, that you're good at, that requires a few years of study or apprenticeship to become a "pro" at.
Or, just get involved in something that is actually *fun* for you. I have no idea what that might be [photography, pets, student government, charity work,
music, art, science, etc etc etc]
All the best :-)
