gift for women over 40 image
Jay
I am working in a lab and want to leave a thank you gift. My boss is a woman over 40 if that helps. Any Suggestions
Answer
Presents aren't standard, required or expected. A really nice note would be nice though, thanking her for all she did for you and the opportunities you were given.
Presents aren't standard, required or expected. A really nice note would be nice though, thanking her for all she did for you and the opportunities you were given.
What to do about sexually inappropriate 'secret santa' gifts at work?
Q. 40 year old happily married mom of 2 boys. I work in an office where the women are outnumbered roughly 5-1 but everyone gets along great and in the ten years I've been there it's been an amazing work environment.
Every Christmas we do a secret Santa gift swap and have to get 5 small, inexpensive gifts, one for each day of the week preceding Christmas. We started yesterday. Typically at the end of the week we typically do not divulge our secret identity if we don't choose to.
My dilemma is that yesterday I found a small box on my desk from my secret santa and inside it was a pair of nipple pasties in the shape of wreathes. I was shocked and rather embarrassed. This morning I found my second gift and was reluctant to open it, and when I did I found a little chrome object with a jeweled head. bit of research online showed it to be a small anal plug!! Again....a bit taken aback. This afternoon when I stepped out to mail a few things I came back and a note was on my desk saying: "I hope you are not offended by the gifts, I just saw them and thought you'd look great in them! -Secret Santa'
I have no idea who is giving me these, nor do I think I want to! Our boss is in on the secret santa thing so not sure I want to go to him and not sure I want to take it that far. Besides, my boss is a guy and he's kind of a free-wheeling type and for all I know it could be him.
By biggest question is do I tell my husband? He would be pretty upset and most likely come to my office and demand to know who it was -not a great scenario. And also, if I find out who it is should I thank them and laugh it off as a joke and then tell my husband?
Never been in this position....
Edit: I might have believed it was a 'gag gift' if not for the note. A 'gag gift' might have been one item, but not two..and who knows? I might get similar items all 5 days. Not so sure I want one of my male co-workers picturing me in pasties and anal jewelry!
Every Christmas we do a secret Santa gift swap and have to get 5 small, inexpensive gifts, one for each day of the week preceding Christmas. We started yesterday. Typically at the end of the week we typically do not divulge our secret identity if we don't choose to.
My dilemma is that yesterday I found a small box on my desk from my secret santa and inside it was a pair of nipple pasties in the shape of wreathes. I was shocked and rather embarrassed. This morning I found my second gift and was reluctant to open it, and when I did I found a little chrome object with a jeweled head. bit of research online showed it to be a small anal plug!! Again....a bit taken aback. This afternoon when I stepped out to mail a few things I came back and a note was on my desk saying: "I hope you are not offended by the gifts, I just saw them and thought you'd look great in them! -Secret Santa'
I have no idea who is giving me these, nor do I think I want to! Our boss is in on the secret santa thing so not sure I want to go to him and not sure I want to take it that far. Besides, my boss is a guy and he's kind of a free-wheeling type and for all I know it could be him.
By biggest question is do I tell my husband? He would be pretty upset and most likely come to my office and demand to know who it was -not a great scenario. And also, if I find out who it is should I thank them and laugh it off as a joke and then tell my husband?
Never been in this position....
Edit: I might have believed it was a 'gag gift' if not for the note. A 'gag gift' might have been one item, but not two..and who knows? I might get similar items all 5 days. Not so sure I want one of my male co-workers picturing me in pasties and anal jewelry!
Answer
Those objects and the note fall well within the EEOC guidelines defining sexual harassment. You are well within your rights to report the matter to your employer. If the employer does not take action to prevent another occurrence, you can legally sue the employer for sexual harassment.
Keep in mind the only thing your employer could do to prevent another occurrence when the perpetrator is unknown, is to end the Secret Santa gift exchange. This will make you very unpopular with the other employees.
If you wish to retain your friendship with the employees who are Not sexually harassing you, it might be best to make a public display of looking in the boxes, then throwing them directly into the garbage can. You can bet your last dollar that your Secret Santa is watching to see how you react to his gifts. This should give him the message loud and clear.
If you decide Not to complain to management, don't tell your husband. No need of making him mad and causing a scene at work. Get rid of the items, if you keep them you will have some tall explaining to do if he finds them.
If you do decide to complain to management, by all means, tell your husband as he is going to find out when EEOC interviews him. If you decide to file an EEOC complaint, keep the items and notes for evidence.
Those objects and the note fall well within the EEOC guidelines defining sexual harassment. You are well within your rights to report the matter to your employer. If the employer does not take action to prevent another occurrence, you can legally sue the employer for sexual harassment.
Keep in mind the only thing your employer could do to prevent another occurrence when the perpetrator is unknown, is to end the Secret Santa gift exchange. This will make you very unpopular with the other employees.
If you wish to retain your friendship with the employees who are Not sexually harassing you, it might be best to make a public display of looking in the boxes, then throwing them directly into the garbage can. You can bet your last dollar that your Secret Santa is watching to see how you react to his gifts. This should give him the message loud and clear.
If you decide Not to complain to management, don't tell your husband. No need of making him mad and causing a scene at work. Get rid of the items, if you keep them you will have some tall explaining to do if he finds them.
If you do decide to complain to management, by all means, tell your husband as he is going to find out when EEOC interviews him. If you decide to file an EEOC complaint, keep the items and notes for evidence.
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