Ten worst gifts to buy a woman?

gift ideas for women kmart image

miranda el

1. Never give a woman any kind of household appliance or something that is going to make "housework" easier. For instance, a blender, a toaster, a new vacuum, one of those mops they advertise on tv that does everything but suck the life out of you, anything in a informercial. The only wise choice is a new washing machine with a turbo spin cycle. (Makes laundry day go by pretty fast when you can at least sit on it during spin-dry and end up smiling the rest of the day.)

2. Any bulk cleaning supplies, "honey, I got you that large box of Tide you have been wanting." "This Windex should last you a while." "I got a good deal on the industrial strength toilet bowl cleaner." All I can say is, be prepared to run. I have faith that if you would have at least stopped and thought about what would be a much more intimate gift, you would have had the sense to spring for the $5 Chia Pet you were eyeing in Kmart.

3. Any sharp objects made by Ronco which slices or dices, or a set of ginsu knives. These may one day be used as a weapon against you when you come home with lipstick on your collar after a "night out with the boys."

4. Do not buy gifts for yourself and pretend they are for her. "Honey, I'm sure you'll get a lot of use out of the new drill I bought you." By then she will have put it to good use by drilling a quarter inch hole into the side of your skull for even thinking she would accept such a lame gift. After a gift like this, you probably won't be around for NEXT Christmas.

5. Any lingerie made of flannel, such as a pair of feet pajamas with a trap door in back. A Little Mermaid or Barney cartoon character nightgown. It gives her the idea that you do not consider her the sexy woman that she is. Take out that wallet and buy her something sexy from Victoria Secret (just like you did for your mistress or other girlfriend).

6. No name perfume which costs you $1.99, such as Eu de Toilet, which actually smells like the bathroom, moldy fruit, or your dirty socks. If you are going to buy her perfume, spring for the brand names.

7. Any type of cubic zirconia jewelry you see on the Home Shopping Network. It will be quite embarrassing when she is showing off that fabulous diamond to her friends and tries to cut glass with it. (We actually test them you know.) Also, now would not be a good time to buy her that set of diamond nipple clamps you always wanted to, you know how we like to show off our jewelry and it could get embarrassing at the New Year's party when she decides to show them off to your buddies.

8. Please do not buy her clothes because you think for one minute you have good taste in woman's clothing. Well, perhaps you might if you are a transvestite, but all in all, believe me, she'll smile and say its beautiful while choking back tears and mumbling under her breath, "were the hell would I ever wear this outfit without being arrested for bad taste?" An additional hint, plaids do not go with stripes (even though you think your golfing outfit looks just fine). Its a known fact to the rest of the world that that is a taboo. In the Northeast, thats like wearing white after Labor Day.

9. Do not give her a gift certificate to Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. Most men would know better, especially the ones who have learned the correct response to "do these pants make me look fat." If you are one of the poor souls who still doesn't get it and purchased a gift like this, be prepared for the silent treatment for a month. (Although that may be something you would actually look forward to.) A better alternative would be hiring a Chippendale dancer as a personal trainer to get her motivated into getting fit.

10. Last but not least, never buy a woman anti-wrinkle cream, or a book on "How not to be Nasty Sunday through Saturday." These are not considered gifts, they are considered reasons for seriously injuring the person who bought it and just may stand up in court of law.

Answer
i always used to do the point no. 6, now i know how wrong i was next time i will take care, LOL

what should i get my gf for christmas?

TysonianSa

I'm not sure what to get her O.o any time i ask her she says she doesnt know so id appreciate ideas. we've been dating 2 years (idk if that helps or not) i dont have a lot of money right now though so nothing crazy expensive. im thinking about getting a giant stuffed animal (like 40 in.) but i cant think of anything else other than clothes, but id be terrible at picking something out.
ive kept all the tickets from the movies and things weve seen together and i was thinking about putting them in with the card. or is that a dumb idea? xP

Answer
The ticket/card idea is great. Some women enjoy receiving a gift hand crafted from the one they love and they cherish them for all time. But, I was thinking along the lines of a jewelry. This time of year, Macy's, Kmart, and Walmart will have 70% off or more, discounts.

Last year, my son was short on cash and really wanted to give me a gift. I explained to him, it was not necessary and he insisted. We went to the mall in Winston-Salem, North Carolina and ended up in Macy's. He purchased a diamond necklace-earring combination originally selling for $189 for $27. Hey, I was definitely a happy camper.

Shop around on paper. Look in Wednesday's and Sunday's newspaper for ads. Keep an eye out for the sale days and take her to pick out what she likes. She probably already knows you are short on cash, so don't be ashamed. Many Americans now-a-days are short on cash due to the current employment or should I say lack of employment crisis.

Hey, if you prefer to keep it a secret until Christmas, get the Teddy Bear; but, also get a small trinket and put it around the Teddy's neck, she will love the gift.

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