I am a 18 yr. old female jamaican woman... but I look like a 15-16 year old.. How can I look my age? Should I get a piercing would that help?
Answer
embrace it! because later on you'll be like 50 but look 40. its a gift!!
embrace it! because later on you'll be like 50 but look 40. its a gift!!
My Jamaican in-laws don't like me???!!!?
**ME**
Ok..not to say that it's only a 'Jamaican' thing. But that's what they are, so it is what it is. I emphasize 'Jamaican' because I'm feeling that it's because of my nationality. My issue is..
My hubby and I have been together for years...and in turn we are now happily married. He is a jamaican national...turned 'american' citizen by way of you know....I'm from the US..etc etc..
Anyway...his friends and most family 'don't like' me. Or shoud I say, the 'idea' of me. For I have never formally met them...so I'm not understanding why.
They don't disrespect me in any way...but it's like they just plain out don't RESPECT me. They always refer to me with an adjective...like 'foreign' or something describing me as being an American. OH YEAH!...and a YANKEE!
I don't want to explain all my experiences in detail..all in all, I'm feeling like this:
They think I'm like a downgrade or that my husband 'settled for less' by marrying an American girl.
What's up with that? I love my husband for who he is, not because he is Jamaican..and vice versa. Might I add, I LOVE the culture..and he loves the American culture. So what's all the animosity about?
The only ones that are nice are the ones that 'beg'. I find this to be ridiculous.
Is there like a big cultural issue in Jamaica when it comes to marrying one of a different nationality? (not only american)
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I agree with you miss 'highly favored'.
I am familiar with the terminology 'foreign' and 'yankee' etc. What I'm saying is that when they call..they know my name!..but they don't call and say stuff like..how are you and 'foreign' doing? And you and 'yankee'....instead of just using my name. I'm trying to be positive about it, but it seems like disrespect.
BUT yes...if they don't like it..oh well!
(i jacked that last paragraph all up!)
I meant that
'they DO call and say.....'
Answer
Honestly? There coudl be MANY different reasons for the treatment you describe.
1. Could be paranoia on your part. I doubt this is the case, but you could be reading too deeply into thier calling you a 'foreigner'. As unlikely as it is i must suggest this as a possibility.
2. It could also be a DEEP family trait, that is very much prejudiced against people of other cultures or races. In my family, 90% of all those who have 'succesful' marriages are married to either Jamaicans or at least people of carribean descent. You husband may very well have evolved away from this trait, and adapted so much to US culture that in the long run it will be a non-issue.
3. The other MOST SERIOUS risk is that he has NOT evolved. If he still holds the cultural prejudices deep down, that fact could be playing a role in why his family sound that way.
Solution:
Your husband. He is the best person to talk to his family discreetly and let them know you don't like it. Its also important for you to spend some 'broke time' in jamaica. By that? i mean come here with him and spend FAMILY time that is focussed on your getting to know everyone and them getting to know and relate to you as a human being... you can bring some gifts, but you dont want them to see you as a wealthy "money tree"...so dont brign too much money. Learn some jamaican cooking from the women in his family. Go do stuff with your nephews and nieces and cousins etc. At some point? You will feel safe letting them know how you feel about that 'foreigner' tag. They will eventually take it off you quite ceremoniously.
Be forewarned that like any in-laws? Some may NEVER like you, but that's there choice. All you will do is make sure that it isnt because of anythign you've done or have failed to do.
As strange as it sounds? The name-calling may make it seem unique, but All of this is still the normal process by which families try to come together after a marriage. The fact that there is physical and cultural DISTANCE makes it a bit more 'interesting' and makes it easier for misunderstandings to occur. i doubt it would be much different if you were from italy and carried your jamaican husband home...to italy, or if you were mexican or russian or anythign like that.
Honestly? There coudl be MANY different reasons for the treatment you describe.
1. Could be paranoia on your part. I doubt this is the case, but you could be reading too deeply into thier calling you a 'foreigner'. As unlikely as it is i must suggest this as a possibility.
2. It could also be a DEEP family trait, that is very much prejudiced against people of other cultures or races. In my family, 90% of all those who have 'succesful' marriages are married to either Jamaicans or at least people of carribean descent. You husband may very well have evolved away from this trait, and adapted so much to US culture that in the long run it will be a non-issue.
3. The other MOST SERIOUS risk is that he has NOT evolved. If he still holds the cultural prejudices deep down, that fact could be playing a role in why his family sound that way.
Solution:
Your husband. He is the best person to talk to his family discreetly and let them know you don't like it. Its also important for you to spend some 'broke time' in jamaica. By that? i mean come here with him and spend FAMILY time that is focussed on your getting to know everyone and them getting to know and relate to you as a human being... you can bring some gifts, but you dont want them to see you as a wealthy "money tree"...so dont brign too much money. Learn some jamaican cooking from the women in his family. Go do stuff with your nephews and nieces and cousins etc. At some point? You will feel safe letting them know how you feel about that 'foreigner' tag. They will eventually take it off you quite ceremoniously.
Be forewarned that like any in-laws? Some may NEVER like you, but that's there choice. All you will do is make sure that it isnt because of anythign you've done or have failed to do.
As strange as it sounds? The name-calling may make it seem unique, but All of this is still the normal process by which families try to come together after a marriage. The fact that there is physical and cultural DISTANCE makes it a bit more 'interesting' and makes it easier for misunderstandings to occur. i doubt it would be much different if you were from italy and carried your jamaican husband home...to italy, or if you were mexican or russian or anythign like that.
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