deetrosa
My boyfriend of 2 years did not get me a birthday present this year (it was in September). I asked for a horseback riding trip that ended for the year about a week after my birthday. He said he would take care of booking it....but just didn't. And I never got anything to replace it.
So I am not planning on getting him a christmas gift this year, even though he already said he got me one. I know it sounds petty, but I have no desire to be the bigger person; I want him to feel how I felt.
Curious to know what others would do in my position
Answer
Gift giving should never be a "tit-for-tat" thing. You give because you WANT to give.
But it is only a human thing to fall into doing so. I have had BF's who simply do not give gifts, and I have stopped giving them gifts. You are desiring revenge, and it is never a good motive, nor building block for a good relationship. If this is part of it, then my suggestion is to start considering getting rid of the jerk.
And in that case, NOT giving any gifts to him would be a normal part of a NON-relationship.
Have a polite day.
Gift giving should never be a "tit-for-tat" thing. You give because you WANT to give.
But it is only a human thing to fall into doing so. I have had BF's who simply do not give gifts, and I have stopped giving them gifts. You are desiring revenge, and it is never a good motive, nor building block for a good relationship. If this is part of it, then my suggestion is to start considering getting rid of the jerk.
And in that case, NOT giving any gifts to him would be a normal part of a NON-relationship.
Have a polite day.
christmas gift giving, it is right?
mature me
it is right to still include my ex in my gift giving list? i always make sure that all my children have gifts this coming christmas. I used to include my ex before since i was not involved with anyone else. but now that i got married, am wondering if it still right to give gift to the ex? will it be a problem and will you feel hurt if you are the current spouse?
Answer
does the gift say from you and the kids or just you?
Your remarried so really, you shouldnt give your ex a gift... unless you do it because you know if you dont he gets basically zilch. You could speak to your current husband about it.... if your married I suspect he has been in your life since last christmas... what did you do then? have you been hiding it from your current?
It really all depends on your motive for giving the ex a gift. If its a genuine platonic gift giving thing because you feel he doesnt get much, thats probably okay.... but if you still have feelings for him (he is the father of your children and you did love him at one time) then no, you shouldnt be giving him gifts if your remarried, thats not a nice thing to do to current husband.
If it were me... I would not be buying him gifts from me... I would do it in the name of the kids... and let them pick the presents out as well.... he is their dad... and regardless of how you both feel about one another now, you were in love at one time, you made a family... we cant pretend these things didnt happen.... for the kids we have to remain civilized and respectful of one another....
does the gift say from you and the kids or just you?
Your remarried so really, you shouldnt give your ex a gift... unless you do it because you know if you dont he gets basically zilch. You could speak to your current husband about it.... if your married I suspect he has been in your life since last christmas... what did you do then? have you been hiding it from your current?
It really all depends on your motive for giving the ex a gift. If its a genuine platonic gift giving thing because you feel he doesnt get much, thats probably okay.... but if you still have feelings for him (he is the father of your children and you did love him at one time) then no, you shouldnt be giving him gifts if your remarried, thats not a nice thing to do to current husband.
If it were me... I would not be buying him gifts from me... I would do it in the name of the kids... and let them pick the presents out as well.... he is their dad... and regardless of how you both feel about one another now, you were in love at one time, you made a family... we cant pretend these things didnt happen.... for the kids we have to remain civilized and respectful of one another....
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