Does my brother deserve a christmas gift?

Maya C

I am 16 years old, my brother is 14. My brother has got a problem which is that he cannot have any feelings for others. He cannot show empathy. He doesn't live at home since my parents cannot handle him anymore. He gets to come home every second weekend however and now he will be home for two weeks over christmas.

My brother takes my money whenever he gets a possibility to do so therefore me and my family have to hide our money all the time so that he won't take it and by cigarettes, alcohol and drugs all the time. Although he has taken so much money from me lately so that I am almost broke.

Do you think that I should buy hum a gift for christmas anyway?
I am sorry I wasn't clear enough. There's absolutely nothing wrong with my parents, they are very nice though they are almost breaking apart due to the situation with my brother. My brother has like a handicap though you can't notice it since he is pretty smart or at least normal. He is currently living in a school where others with similar problems are living. I know that since he has a handicap I should consider that and be nice, however his handicap is that he cannot like other people obviously or at least he cannot appreciate them. Therefore I am not sure if it really would matter to him if I buy him a gift for christmas...

Answer
wow, tough question. it sounds like he's extremely selfish -- stealing money from his own sister -- but you still care enough to at least consider giving him a gift. kudos to you for being such a good sister!

to be honest, i don't know whether i would give him a gift or not. i would certainly feel guilty if i intentionally excluded him, but the truth is that he doesn't sound like the kindof person who appreciates gifts as expressions of love. he sounds more to me like the kindof person who feels his gifts are entitlements.

i wish i had a better answer for you, but there is no easy solution to this one. try to figure out how he would react if you got him a gift, versus how he would react if you did not. also try to figure out the emotional impact to you. ultimately, in a situation like this i suggest going with your intuition -- if your gut instinct tells you a solution is right, and it feels right, there is probably some reason it's right (something you have not observed on a conscious level).

i really hope this helps; good luck!

christmas gift ideas?

Q. My church adopted a family for christmas
The family contains:
-2 year old girl
-14 year old boy
-Mom (they don't specify the age)

The organization only accepts gifts not necessities
What should we get them? Thanks

Answer
Gift ideas for birthdays, mothers day, fathers day, Christmas

Driving: a CLUB, steering wheel cover, back support pillow, window shades, vanity plates

Diving: Scuba gear, flippers, weights, snorkel,

Swimming: cool swim suit, sun glasses, visors, beach towel. boogie board, surf board, beach umbrella

Golf: Personalized tees or balls, glove, golf bag, golf club covers

Ball games: Ball, glove, mitt, or tickets to favorite team, baseball cap

Boating: Floating ice chest, floating flashlight, flag, canopy, life vest,
inflatable raft, canoe, kayak (and paddles)

Exercise equipment: body ball, thighmaster, stairmaster, etc.

CDs of favorite artists, concert tickets
Quilt, comforter, Snuggly thing, bootie sox, pretty umbrella, journal.
Lip gloss, spray-on hair shine, energy bars, votive candles, calendar, hair extensions and clips, fluffy slippers, talcum powder with fluffy puff

Board games: Checkers, chess, Monopoly, Upwords, card games...
Croquet, badminton, horseshoes, bike, skateboard, basketball and hoop, volleyball set, hockey

A Makeover, puppy, kitty, New King James bible
Bike, skateboard, scooter, moped, skates, binoculars

The best and easiest gift to receive and to give is a Gift Card/Certificate to a favorite store to be used after holidays when things are half price.

Especially for adults that are hard to buy for:
Make some Good For tickets and put them in a stocking or card. Things that say:
Good for one free back/neck/foot massage.
Good for detailing your car (wash, wax, shampoo carpets and seats)
Good for vacuuming the whole houseGood for cleaning the garage, attic and/or basement (whichever you have)
Good for babysitting so you can have a peaceful bubble bath
Good for making dinner every nite for a week, doing dishes and clean-up
Good for cleaning out the fireplace and chimney
Take down curtains and drapes, clean them and re-hang.
Clean upholstered furniture.
Wash windows
Shampoo carpets
Decorate the tree
Remove tree, decorations and store it all in garage

I bet you can think of a lot more; you know them better than we do. Trust me, they'll be thrilled!!!

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No birthday gift = no christmas gift. Is it fair?

deetrosa

My boyfriend of 2 years did not get me a birthday present this year (it was in September). I asked for a horseback riding trip that ended for the year about a week after my birthday. He said he would take care of booking it....but just didn't. And I never got anything to replace it.

So I am not planning on getting him a christmas gift this year, even though he already said he got me one. I know it sounds petty, but I have no desire to be the bigger person; I want him to feel how I felt.

Curious to know what others would do in my position

Answer
Gift giving should never be a "tit-for-tat" thing. You give because you WANT to give.

But it is only a human thing to fall into doing so. I have had BF's who simply do not give gifts, and I have stopped giving them gifts. You are desiring revenge, and it is never a good motive, nor building block for a good relationship. If this is part of it, then my suggestion is to start considering getting rid of the jerk.

And in that case, NOT giving any gifts to him would be a normal part of a NON-relationship.


Have a polite day.

christmas gift giving, it is right?

mature me

it is right to still include my ex in my gift giving list? i always make sure that all my children have gifts this coming christmas. I used to include my ex before since i was not involved with anyone else. but now that i got married, am wondering if it still right to give gift to the ex? will it be a problem and will you feel hurt if you are the current spouse?

Answer
does the gift say from you and the kids or just you?

Your remarried so really, you shouldnt give your ex a gift... unless you do it because you know if you dont he gets basically zilch. You could speak to your current husband about it.... if your married I suspect he has been in your life since last christmas... what did you do then? have you been hiding it from your current?

It really all depends on your motive for giving the ex a gift. If its a genuine platonic gift giving thing because you feel he doesnt get much, thats probably okay.... but if you still have feelings for him (he is the father of your children and you did love him at one time) then no, you shouldnt be giving him gifts if your remarried, thats not a nice thing to do to current husband.

If it were me... I would not be buying him gifts from me... I would do it in the name of the kids... and let them pick the presents out as well.... he is their dad... and regardless of how you both feel about one another now, you were in love at one time, you made a family... we cant pretend these things didnt happen.... for the kids we have to remain civilized and respectful of one another....

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websites for easy to make christmas gifts?

Lisa C

I am on maternity leave this Christmas and I do not have alot of moey to spend on christmas gifts this year. Can anyone give me any ideas or web sites where I can make cheap christmas presents?

Answer
Maybe you can bake some holiday treats and add a cute story or poem. I wish I knew who you needed to give gifts to. Also, check out www.homemakingcottage.com for more ideas. Here is one thing I looked up and found on the site....
Fresh baked bread, rolls, breadsticks, or cookies. (Send your recipe along with it.)

Free or cheap gift ideas...

Share your favorite thought or scripture. Write it on a nice paper and attach a magnet on the back.

Stationary and stamps always make a nice gift, especially for someone leaving on a mission or going away to college.

Stencil on an apron, dish towel, pot holder, pillowcase or t-shirt.

Balloon bouquets, Birthday banners made on the computer.

Fresh fruits, vegetables, or flowers from your garden. Since this is so late in the year I would suggest canned items that were from your garden. You can decorate the top with a square of Christmas fabric and tie with twine.

A basket of small sample items. (Shampoo & Conditioner, lotion, bubble bath, soap, etc.)

Coupon for free babysitting, window washing, ironing, etc.

Take dinner to a friend in a picnic basket with paper plates, paper cups, napkins, and plastic utensils.

A bottle of 7-up or root beer ties with balloons and ribbon decorated for the Christmas season.

Give items to go with a favorite hobby. (film & batteries for a photographer, etc.)

List all of the reasons you are thankful for someone and why you love them. Fill a jar with candy pieces and the notes you wrote for them.

Mirror with a note. "Everyone enjoys the goodness you reflect."

Tape record some of your children's stories. Present the tape with the books so they can read along.

Have a "Souper" day! Give a can of soup and box of crackers.

Here is a gift basket idea.
Movie basket
Includes: Gift certificates to video store, microwave flavored popcorn, peanuts, and pop.

Contributed by: Janet

Do you need cheap gifts for your children?

Any ideas for christmas gifts?

Marz Gymna

So I'm making the gifts for my parents this year. I planned on one for my dad, one for mom, and one for both. I don't have a lot of time, so can you help?

Answer
Christmas gift suggestions:

1. http://www.momswhothink.com/christmas/christmas-gift-ideas.html

2.
http://www.xmasgiftideas.org/

3. Gift certificates.

4. Food makes good Christmas gifts. Items that can be found at your grocery store or malls during December - they are in gift boxes and bags:

Tin of Danish cookies.
Box of chocolates.
Box of different types of cheeses.
Box of different types of sausages.
Fruit baskets.
And many more.

5. Christmas center pieces delivered from a florist or you can deliver yourself. Great for moms.

6. DVD movies, add a box of microwave popcorn.

7. Books.

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making gifts for christmas?

psycholuv3

im running low on money this christmas so i was wondering what kind of things can i make, or what are some cheap gift items?

Answer
It's perfectly FINE to give a handmade Christmas gift!

Some things you can make (pretty inexpensively):

Scented candles

Hand-decorated Christmas ornaments

Baked goods (cookies, nut-bread, chocolate-peppermint rolls, etc.) that you can prepare ahead of time in quantity, and wrap and give individually

Small themed gift-baskets (for example, sample sizes of flavored coffee or tea, along with a nice mug, in a basket with some shredded-paper filler ... you can buy all these items at dollar stores or discount stores)

Other gift baskets, depending on the recipients likes/interests, could include a crossword-puzzle magazine and a few new pencils, or a few small kitchen gadgets/utensils and a package of recipe cards, some craft- or art-supplies.

Fruit baskets are easy (and cheap!) to put together yourself. Buy a bag of apples, a bag of oranges, any other fruit that's inexpensive ... some baskets (thrift-stores such as Goodwill often sell baskets for 25 or 50 cents!) and make your own!

Other ideas:

Cheap picture frames (again, dollar store) that you embellish/personalize ... you can use paint, glitter, buttons, decoupage ... the possibilities are endless.

Small photo albums ... include a few pictures of yourself and the friend to whom you're giving the album, leaving the rest of the pages blank ... again, you can embellish the album as mentioned above.

If you like to embroider or do cross-stitch, you can buy plain kitchen towels, potholders, etc., and personalize them that way.

If you knit, crochet, or sew ... scarves, hats, or household items are easy to make/personalize.

Just use your imagination. And don't feel like it's cheap to give a handmade gift, it isn't ... personally, I LOVE receiving a gift that someone put him/herself into!

No birthday gift = no christmas gift. Is it fair?

deetrosa

My boyfriend of 2 years did not get me a birthday present this year (it was in September). I asked for a horseback riding trip that ended for the year about a week after my birthday. He said he would take care of booking it....but just didn't. And I never got anything to replace it.

So I am not planning on getting him a christmas gift this year, even though he already said he got me one. I know it sounds petty, but I have no desire to be the bigger person; I want him to feel how I felt.

Curious to know what others would do in my position

Answer
Gift giving should never be a "tit-for-tat" thing. You give because you WANT to give.

But it is only a human thing to fall into doing so. I have had BF's who simply do not give gifts, and I have stopped giving them gifts. You are desiring revenge, and it is never a good motive, nor building block for a good relationship. If this is part of it, then my suggestion is to start considering getting rid of the jerk.

And in that case, NOT giving any gifts to him would be a normal part of a NON-relationship.


Have a polite day.

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Does my brother deserve a christmas gift?

Maya C

I am 16 years old, my brother is 14. My brother has got a problem which is that he cannot have any feelings for others. He cannot show empathy. He doesn't live at home since my parents cannot handle him anymore. He gets to come home every second weekend however and now he will be home for two weeks over christmas.

My brother takes my money whenever he gets a possibility to do so therefore me and my family have to hide our money all the time so that he won't take it and by cigarettes, alcohol and drugs all the time. Although he has taken so much money from me lately so that I am almost broke.

Do you think that I should buy hum a gift for christmas anyway?
I am sorry I wasn't clear enough. There's absolutely nothing wrong with my parents, they are very nice though they are almost breaking apart due to the situation with my brother. My brother has like a handicap though you can't notice it since he is pretty smart or at least normal. He is currently living in a school where others with similar problems are living. I know that since he has a handicap I should consider that and be nice, however his handicap is that he cannot like other people obviously or at least he cannot appreciate them. Therefore I am not sure if it really would matter to him if I buy him a gift for christmas...

Answer
wow, tough question. it sounds like he's extremely selfish -- stealing money from his own sister -- but you still care enough to at least consider giving him a gift. kudos to you for being such a good sister!

to be honest, i don't know whether i would give him a gift or not. i would certainly feel guilty if i intentionally excluded him, but the truth is that he doesn't sound like the kindof person who appreciates gifts as expressions of love. he sounds more to me like the kindof person who feels his gifts are entitlements.

i wish i had a better answer for you, but there is no easy solution to this one. try to figure out how he would react if you got him a gift, versus how he would react if you did not. also try to figure out the emotional impact to you. ultimately, in a situation like this i suggest going with your intuition -- if your gut instinct tells you a solution is right, and it feels right, there is probably some reason it's right (something you have not observed on a conscious level).

i really hope this helps; good luck!

christmas gift ideas?

hannah

My church adopted a family for christmas
The family contains:
-2 year old girl
-14 year old boy
-Mom (they don't specify the age)

The organization only accepts gifts not necessities
What should we get them? Thanks

Answer
Gift ideas for birthdays, mothers day, fathers day, Christmas

Driving: a CLUB, steering wheel cover, back support pillow, window shades, vanity plates

Diving: Scuba gear, flippers, weights, snorkel,

Swimming: cool swim suit, sun glasses, visors, beach towel. boogie board, surf board, beach umbrella

Golf: Personalized tees or balls, glove, golf bag, golf club covers

Ball games: Ball, glove, mitt, or tickets to favorite team, baseball cap

Boating: Floating ice chest, floating flashlight, flag, canopy, life vest,
inflatable raft, canoe, kayak (and paddles)

Exercise equipment: body ball, thighmaster, stairmaster, etc.

CDs of favorite artists, concert tickets
Quilt, comforter, Snuggly thing, bootie sox, pretty umbrella, journal.
Lip gloss, spray-on hair shine, energy bars, votive candles, calendar, hair extensions and clips, fluffy slippers, talcum powder with fluffy puff

Board games: Checkers, chess, Monopoly, Upwords, card games...
Croquet, badminton, horseshoes, bike, skateboard, basketball and hoop, volleyball set, hockey

A Makeover, puppy, kitty, New King James bible
Bike, skateboard, scooter, moped, skates, binoculars

The best and easiest gift to receive and to give is a Gift Card/Certificate to a favorite store to be used after holidays when things are half price.

Especially for adults that are hard to buy for:
Make some Good For tickets and put them in a stocking or card. Things that say:
Good for one free back/neck/foot massage.
Good for detailing your car (wash, wax, shampoo carpets and seats)
Good for vacuuming the whole houseGood for cleaning the garage, attic and/or basement (whichever you have)
Good for babysitting so you can have a peaceful bubble bath
Good for making dinner every nite for a week, doing dishes and clean-up
Good for cleaning out the fireplace and chimney
Take down curtains and drapes, clean them and re-hang.
Clean upholstered furniture.
Wash windows
Shampoo carpets
Decorate the tree
Remove tree, decorations and store it all in garage

I bet you can think of a lot more; you know them better than we do. Trust me, they'll be thrilled!!!

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