what should I ask for for my 13th birthday?

Ash

I'm a girl, and my birthdays next Wednesday and I have no idea what to ask for.
I want gift cards for clothes but I don't know what to ask.
I have a laptop and a nook already and don't really want a phone or Ipod right now.
Help please?
Oh and I'm already having a volunteer b-day party and spending my summer volunteering
for others. But what do I ask for?

Answer
You were just like me when I turned thirteen last year. Since I'm a classy woman who is naturally professional, my dad got me a Stella McCartney designer perfume for 80 or 90 dollars. I still have it and it smells like fresh red roses. I think a nice wrist-watch is a good idea too. If you like art, you can ask for sketchbooks and materials. Or maybe like me, go to barnes and noble or from nook, buy a couple books like Brain Jack by Brian Falkener, Water For Elephants, or Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. Hope this helps! :)

What should I get my parents for christmas?

lilah tele

I have no idea what to get my parents for christmas they dont hint around for anything and wont give me any ideas. They are both 51 i dont know what people their age like shiit i just turned 18. I want it to be special they are the only people i have to give gifts to considering the rest of my family are JW lol. Any ideas?

Answer
The best thing is know what your parents likes are and are into say like golf, yoga, play poker or blackjack, like reading fiction and nonfiction spy books, gardening, what are they fans of and so on. Since you didn't say or know, how about any of these things on the list.

BOOKS
=======
Dead or Alive by Tom Clancy with Grant Blackwood

Locked On by Tom Clancy with Mark Greaney

Covert Warriors (Presidential Agent, Book 7) by W. E. B. Griffin and William E. Butterworth IV

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by John Le Carre

Smiley's People by John Le Carre

Inside the CIA: Revealing the Secrets of the World's Most Powerful Spy Agency by Ronald Kessler

The CIA's Black Ops: Covert Action, Foreign Policy, and Democracy by John Jacob Nutter

MI6: Inside the Covert World of Her Majesty's Secret Intelligence Service by Stephen Dorril

Let's Face It: 90 Years of Living, Loving, and Learning by Kirk Douglas

Light on Life: The Yoga Journey to Wholeness, Inner Peace, and Ultimate Freedom by B.K.S. Iyengar

The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human Life

The Illustrated A Brief History of Time and The Universe in a Nutshell by Stephen Hawking

The Art and Craft of Coffee: An Enthusiast's Guide to Selecting, Roasting, and Brewing Exquisite Coffee by Kevin Sinnott

Coffee: More than 65 Delicious & Healthy Recipes by Avner Laskin

Dim Sum: The Art of Chinese Tea Lunch by Ellen Leong Blonder

Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson

Zen and the Art of Poker: Timeless Secrets to Transform Your Game

Double or Nothing: How Two Friends Risked It All to Buy One of Las Vegas' Legendary Casinos by Tom Breitling

A Team for America: The Army-Navy Game That Rallied a Nation by Randy Roberts

The Invention Of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick

11/22/63 by Stephen King

Hotel Vendome by Danielle Steel

Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game!: A Woman's Guide to Loving Pro Football by Holly Robinson Peete

Raquel: Beyond the Cleavage by Raquel Welch

All My Life: A Memoir by Susan Lucci

Bossypants by Tina Fey

The Best Advice I Ever Got: Lessons from Extraordinary Lives by Katie Couric

No Higher Honor by Condoleezza Rice

Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope by Gabrielle Giffords


DVD/BLU-RAYS
=============
Planet Earth

Human Planet

Life

The Best of the Dean Martin Variety Show: Collectors Edition

Kennedy: The Complete Series(staring Martin Sheen)

Reilly - Ace of Spies

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy(BBC miniseries)

Smiley's People(BBC miniseries)

A Perfect Spy(BBC miniseries)

Celine Dion: Live in Las Vegas - A New Day

American Experience - Las Vegas - An Unconventional History

Terminator 2: Judgment Day Skynet Edition

Band Of Brothers

Atlas Shrugged Part 1

Inside Job

The Sound Of music

Oaklahoma!


MUSIC
======
The Beatles 1

Christmas The Rat Packs

Sinatra Nothing But The Best

Frank Sinatra: Best of The Best Deluxe Edition

Dino: The Essential Dean Martin

Dean Martin Cool Then, Cool Now

Romanza - Andrea Bocelli

Amore - Andrea Bocelli

Concerto, One Night in Central Park - Andrea Bocelli

Dream With Me - Jackie Evancho

A New Day...Live In Las Vegas w/Bonus DVD - Celine Dion

Illuminations - Josh Groban

Hit Man Returns [CD/DVD] - David Foster

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy soundtrack


KITCHEEN STUFF
===============
Bodum Chambord 3-cup Coffee Press

Bodum French Press, Bean 8 Cup

Keurig B31 Coffee Maker, Mini Brewer

Mr. Coffee Mini Brewer

Haeger Pizza Stone with Cookbook


BAG AND ACCESSORIES (MEN's)
===========================
Tommy Hilfiger Wallet, Brighton Passcase

Perry Ellis Portfolio, 10 Piece Grooming Set

Perry Ellis Portfolio, Zip Top Travel Kit


MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION
======================
Entertainment Weekly

Smart Money

Money

Eye Spy

Counterterrorism

Soldier Of Fortune

Casino Player

O, The Oprah Magazine

In Style

Self

Lucky

Good Housekeeping

Cook's Illustrated

Vegas

Las Vegas

Los Angeles Magazine

Card Player

Home Theater

Sound & Vision

Consumer Reports



Site and stores you might want to check out to see IF there are stuff your parents might like

Target & http://target.com

Costco

http://amazon.com

http://celinedion.shop.musictoday.com/

https://www.shopcaesars.com/

http://eboutique.cirquedusoleil.com/

Barnes and Noble & http://bn.com

Walmart & http://www.walmart.com

http://www.buy.com/

Best Buy & http://www.bestbuy.com

http://www.asomf.org/shop/

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

What are some great advice about achieving wealth and power?

gift ideas for women turning 90 image

Michael S

The two things I want most in life is wealth and power. So far I do not date and always turn down women who ask. I make the excuse I do not drive or have a high paying job or I am boring. I avoid going places with friends if i know it costs money. I eat meals at home. I bake homemade bread. I wear shoes until they have holes in them I do that with clothes as well. I shop at thrift stores. I only buy metal plates as they are easier to clean and are less likely to get broken if dropped or melt if I use the stove. I bought an Alienware PC and I expect to keep it for 5 or more years. I make all food from scratch and will grow or raise it if possible. I live in a boarding house and I sleep on a air mattress. When i had a studio apartment i never bought furniture. I am in College and I will use the books on reserve or will try to create a study group so I can avoid buying a book. I will walk 15 miles to school or a job to avoid paying bus fares. I do not own a car and have no desire to own a house in the USA. I never buy name brand foods I always buy the cheapest i can find. I do not eat pork or beef because of cost. I stopped celebrating christmas so I do not feel guilty about not buying gifts for other people. I never donate money and never give it to beggars. If I were to marry a woman i want her to be a wealthy lawyer with my type of mindset. When I have extra money i will buy CDS and saving bonds. If i were to have enough to buy a house I would rent out the rooms to others, Grow Vegetables and fruits to sell to other people. I have started learning how to build batteries and generators so I can create my own energy. I learned how to make lye so i can make homemade soap. I recycle and compost 90 percents of my trash. I even reuse old batteries. I will take them apart for the Manganese dioxide which I reuse when making homemade alkaline batteries. I just learned how to make solar cells. I know how to build nuclear reactors so i just need to find Uranium or Radium. I have started tutoring, repairing pcs, cooking, to make more cash. What are ideas that can assist me achieve the wealth i so desire.

Answer
Living within your means is an important but an insufficient prerequisite for wealth and power.

The pursuit of wealth and power is about social relationships and legal relationships.

You appear to be dangerously deficient in social skills.

I suggest that you concentrate on improving your social skills so you can improve the quality of your social relationships and the legal relationships in your future.

Might I suggest that you join your local Rotary Club, Toastmasters, or Elks Club and begin to get involved in your local community.

How to handle my Mother-in-Law?

Squishy

I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband and I are having problems with his mother and we aren't sure how to handle it.

I'm sure as the typical story-my mother in law had no issue with me until my husband told her he wanted to propose to me. All of a sudden she begins telling my husband I will cheat on him, take his money and run, that I am not Christian because I am Catholic (yeah ...) and that I will be nothing but a burden to him. He had several choice words with her and her attitude turned a better path for a while but then hit rock bottom again.

My husband is Military and is gone 90% of the time. My husband and I will both call her and text her to tell her he is leaving and she will not answer the phone, we always end up having to call his father to get her on the phone and then she plays stupid saying she had no idea he was leaving and starts the fake crying bits.

He has tried talking to her about these issues on the phone, through text, and even email. She completely ignores it and changes the subject. The last email she told him that she hopes he enjoys laying in the bed hes made for himself and that I am a liar .. but if he ever wanted to he could come back to her no strings attached.

I have only said one bad thing to her and that is when I found out while my husband was in Afghanistan that she was in the hospital for a very very serious condition- I blew up on her after she was cleared from the hospital because she could have died and my husband wouldn't have found out until it was to late. I have never spoken to her again.

Even now while he is away she hasn't even asked for his mailing address yet emails him telling him she doesn't like having to tell people she doesn't know how he is because he won't tell her, (which is not the case). Two Christmases ago while he was away I pretty much had to force her to even send him a Christmas present which was the only box she ever sent him.

This is pretty much a bipolar roller coaster ride that is stuck on repeat. One minute she wants nothing to do with us and the next she gets pissy because she doesn't know what is going on in his life.

I just don't know how to even begin to understand this woman. I do not want my husband to completely cut ties with his mother but he will if this doesn't get corrected. How can a mother refuse to speak to her son while he is home only three months a year. Even if she doesn't care for me that does not mean you stop speaking to your son when with his job- you never know what can happen. There is much much more & worse to this but I wont be plastering very personal business on the internet lol.

Does anyone have any type of advice or tactics on how to handle this situation .. anything at all to try and get this woman to open her eyes. I would deeply appreciate any helpful information. This has been going on for years and I can't take much more before I don't care anymore and I don't want that to happen- it may be a woman thing but I wouldn't want to cut ties with my mother and so I don't want to see my husband have to do that.
@ Kat- I do send her gifts every year and once she see i've sent things like for Birthday and Christmas she will send us something. Last year we sent Christmas gifts and she told us she wasnt sending us anything- thats fine, I don't care but once she got our gifts she sent stuff to us as she felt obligated to. It was fake and I wanted to send it back but we left it alone. As far as tweeting she has blocked both me and my husband.

Answer
She is one difficult mother-in-law but do not let yourself be stressed out for good.
Try "ignoring" her dramatics. Focus more on your relationship with your husband. If she wants a no communication policy, fine. Just be the good daughter-in-law by remembering special occasions.
Send her gifts and tweet her at times. If she doesn't reciprocate, fine.
It's her problem, not yours.

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Does Anybody have any good bridal shower games?

gift ideas for women turning 90 image

I'm throwing my sister a bridal shower and I dont have any game ideas. Any Help?

Answer
Toilet Paper Wedding Dress

Divide the guests into two or more teams of at least three people each. The teams are given rolls of toilet paper, and each team chooses a "bride." Give the teams 20 minutes to create a wedding dress on their "bride" using the toilet paper. At the end of the allotted time, vote for the best wedding dress and the funniest, and give prizes to the winners.

The Clothespin Game

To begin, choose a "buzz word" such as bride, groom, wedding, etc. When each guests comes into the party, hand them a clothespin. Then, if someone hears another person saying the "buzz word," they get to take that person's clothespin. The person with the most clothespins at the end of the party wins. (Another variation is that a guest loses her clothespin when she crosses her legs, a hard task for a party full of women!)

Purse Scavenger Hunt or Let's Make a Deal

Remember that old game show, Let's Make a Deal? At the end of every show, Monty Hall would give audience members money for a specific unusual item. This is the same idea. Divide guests into teams of two or three, giving them a list of slightly unusual items, including a few "why in the world would you carry that in a purse?" items. Assign points to each item based on the likelihood that someone will have it. (a lipstick carries 10 points, a can opener 90 points). The team with the most points is the winner. Another variation is to call out items as the bride is opening presents, giving a small individual prize for each item.

Cotton Head

Choose a guest to go first, and sit her in the middle of the room. Hand her a bowl full of cotton balls and a wooden spoon, and blindfold her. The object of the game is to pile as many cotton balls on your own head as possible within a certain amount of time (30 seconds or so.) After everyone has had a turn, the guest who got the most cotton balls on her head wins a prize.

Two Truths and a Lie

Each guest introduces herself, and tells the group three things about herself; two are true, one is a lie. Guests then write down, or shout out which one they think is a lie. If a guest is shy, the host should whisper in her ear some ideas for the lie.

Who Am I?

Before the party, make a list of famous romantic couples These can be real: Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn, fictional: Fred and Wilma Flintstone, contemporary: David and Courtney Cox Arquette, or ancient: Antony and Cleopatra. Other famous couples: Grace Kelly and Prince Ranier, Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy, Robert and Elizabeth Browning, Romeo and Juliet, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick. Choose couples that your guests are likely to know. Write each name down separately on name tags and as each guest arrives, put a name tag (without showing them) on their back. Their task is to go around the party and ask yes or no questions about their "secret identity." For example, "am I a fictional character?" "Am I a man?" Then, they have to find their "better half". The game ends when everyone has found their partner, award a prize to the first couple to do so.

Bridal Bingo

There are many fun variations on this game. The most popular is this one: the host pre-fills out bingo cards with things the bride likes, and then has her draw either the items themselves (if they are small gifts) or slips of paper (if they are things like places she has visited, her favorite color, etc.). Variation two is that the guests fill the cards out themselves with presents they think the bride is likely to receive, putting their own present in the free square in the middle. When a guest has a matching square with what the bride has called (or opened), she can cross it off; five in a row, across or diagonally count as Bingo! Give a door prize to the first winner.

How Well Do You Know the Bride?

Start off this game by asking the bride to leave the room, standing just out of sight, but within hearing distance. Ask guests what she was wearing, (color of her shirt, hair up or down, etc.) then move on to harder questions such as how did the bride and groom meet, what is the bride's favorite color, etc. The first person to shout out the most correct answers is the winner.

How well does the bride know the groom?

Before the shower, ask the groom questions about himself and carefully write down his answers. At the shower, ask the bride to predict what he said. If the answers match, she gets a prize. If the answers don't match, the first guest to call out the correct answer gets the prize. Sample questions include, What is his favorite color? Favorite band? Favorite thing to do on the weekend? Dream vacation? Where was their first date?

How Old Was She?

Ask the bride's mother for pictures of her at a variety of ages. Pin them to a board, and hand out sheets of paper to each guest. As they mingle and eat, they can guess what age she was in each picture. Give a prize t

Is it fair to call a woman "disgusting" if she states that she wouldn't accept a ride from a male stranger?

Pookie.

Inspired by this question:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Akd_.dd9Om6HOe6.QyyWReAYxgt.;_ylv=3?qid=20081023211616AAqXiBr

and an answer that indicated that in the event of a car breaking down, a woman's decision to *not* get a ride from a male stranger and instead get a ride with a female stranger was "disgusting"

(The question is at the bottom of this thread).

When a person gets bitten by a snake in rural areas of Australia in early spring, the likelihood of the offending snake being a King Brown is fairly high. King browns are known to be aggressive, and often attack the unsuspecting victim unprovoked.

Imagine a situation where a snake bite victim presents herself to a local ED following a snake bite. She tells the Dr that she saw the snake, but couldn't remember what it looked like. The doctor was aware that King Browns were very active in the area, and a significant number of other patients had presented themselves at the same hospital in the past few weeks with snake bites. As it turned out, 90% of the snake bite patients admitted, had been bitten by King Browns. While any number of types of snakes *could* have bitten her, the doctors awareness that the recent statistic of 90%, the fact that it was an unprovoked attack, coupled with the fact that it's the second week in Spring, makes her (the doctor) highly suspicious that the bite was that of a King Brown.

Would it be fair to say that based on the information available to the doctor that she was justifiably highly suspicious of the offending type of snake?

Similarly, because it's general knowledge

What should I get my parents for christmas?

gift ideas for women turning 90 image

lilah tele

I have no idea what to get my parents for christmas they dont hint around for anything and wont give me any ideas. They are both 51 i dont know what people their age like shiit i just turned 18. I want it to be special they are the only people i have to give gifts to considering the rest of my family are JW lol. Any ideas?

Answer
The best thing is know what your parents likes are and are into say like golf, yoga, play poker or blackjack, like reading fiction and nonfiction spy books, gardening, what are they fans of and so on. Since you didn't say or know, how about any of these things on the list.

BOOKS
=======
Dead or Alive by Tom Clancy with Grant Blackwood

Locked On by Tom Clancy with Mark Greaney

Covert Warriors (Presidential Agent, Book 7) by W. E. B. Griffin and William E. Butterworth IV

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by John Le Carre

Smiley's People by John Le Carre

Inside the CIA: Revealing the Secrets of the World's Most Powerful Spy Agency by Ronald Kessler

The CIA's Black Ops: Covert Action, Foreign Policy, and Democracy by John Jacob Nutter

MI6: Inside the Covert World of Her Majesty's Secret Intelligence Service by Stephen Dorril

Let's Face It: 90 Years of Living, Loving, and Learning by Kirk Douglas

Light on Life: The Yoga Journey to Wholeness, Inner Peace, and Ultimate Freedom by B.K.S. Iyengar

The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human Life

The Illustrated A Brief History of Time and The Universe in a Nutshell by Stephen Hawking

The Art and Craft of Coffee: An Enthusiast's Guide to Selecting, Roasting, and Brewing Exquisite Coffee by Kevin Sinnott

Coffee: More than 65 Delicious & Healthy Recipes by Avner Laskin

Dim Sum: The Art of Chinese Tea Lunch by Ellen Leong Blonder

Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson

Zen and the Art of Poker: Timeless Secrets to Transform Your Game

Double or Nothing: How Two Friends Risked It All to Buy One of Las Vegas' Legendary Casinos by Tom Breitling

A Team for America: The Army-Navy Game That Rallied a Nation by Randy Roberts

The Invention Of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick

11/22/63 by Stephen King

Hotel Vendome by Danielle Steel

Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game!: A Woman's Guide to Loving Pro Football by Holly Robinson Peete

Raquel: Beyond the Cleavage by Raquel Welch

All My Life: A Memoir by Susan Lucci

Bossypants by Tina Fey

The Best Advice I Ever Got: Lessons from Extraordinary Lives by Katie Couric

No Higher Honor by Condoleezza Rice

Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope by Gabrielle Giffords


DVD/BLU-RAYS
=============
Planet Earth

Human Planet

Life

The Best of the Dean Martin Variety Show: Collectors Edition

Kennedy: The Complete Series(staring Martin Sheen)

Reilly - Ace of Spies

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy(BBC miniseries)

Smiley's People(BBC miniseries)

A Perfect Spy(BBC miniseries)

Celine Dion: Live in Las Vegas - A New Day

American Experience - Las Vegas - An Unconventional History

Terminator 2: Judgment Day Skynet Edition

Band Of Brothers

Atlas Shrugged Part 1

Inside Job

The Sound Of music

Oaklahoma!


MUSIC
======
The Beatles 1

Christmas The Rat Packs

Sinatra Nothing But The Best

Frank Sinatra: Best of The Best Deluxe Edition

Dino: The Essential Dean Martin

Dean Martin Cool Then, Cool Now

Romanza - Andrea Bocelli

Amore - Andrea Bocelli

Concerto, One Night in Central Park - Andrea Bocelli

Dream With Me - Jackie Evancho

A New Day...Live In Las Vegas w/Bonus DVD - Celine Dion

Illuminations - Josh Groban

Hit Man Returns [CD/DVD] - David Foster

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy soundtrack


KITCHEEN STUFF
===============
Bodum Chambord 3-cup Coffee Press

Bodum French Press, Bean 8 Cup

Keurig B31 Coffee Maker, Mini Brewer

Mr. Coffee Mini Brewer

Haeger Pizza Stone with Cookbook


BAG AND ACCESSORIES (MEN's)
===========================
Tommy Hilfiger Wallet, Brighton Passcase

Perry Ellis Portfolio, 10 Piece Grooming Set

Perry Ellis Portfolio, Zip Top Travel Kit


MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION
======================
Entertainment Weekly

Smart Money

Money

Eye Spy

Counterterrorism

Soldier Of Fortune

Casino Player

O, The Oprah Magazine

In Style

Self

Lucky

Good Housekeeping

Cook's Illustrated

Vegas

Las Vegas

Los Angeles Magazine

Card Player

Home Theater

Sound & Vision

Consumer Reports



Site and stores you might want to check out to see IF there are stuff your parents might like

Target & http://target.com

Costco

http://amazon.com

http://celinedion.shop.musictoday.com/

https://www.shopcaesars.com/

http://eboutique.cirquedusoleil.com/

Barnes and Noble & http://bn.com

Walmart & http://www.walmart.com

http://www.buy.com/

Best Buy & http://www.bestbuy.com

http://www.asomf.org/shop/

what should I ask for for my 13th birthday?

Ash

I'm a girl, and my birthdays next Wednesday and I have no idea what to ask for.
I want gift cards for clothes but I don't know what to ask.
I have a laptop and a nook already and don't really want a phone or Ipod right now.
Help please?
Oh and I'm already having a volunteer b-day party and spending my summer volunteering
for others. But what do I ask for?

Answer
You were just like me when I turned thirteen last year. Since I'm a classy woman who is naturally professional, my dad got me a Stella McCartney designer perfume for 80 or 90 dollars. I still have it and it smells like fresh red roses. I think a nice wrist-watch is a good idea too. If you like art, you can ask for sketchbooks and materials. Or maybe like me, go to barnes and noble or from nook, buy a couple books like Brain Jack by Brian Falkener, Water For Elephants, or Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. Hope this helps! :)

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how can I keep faith?

gift ideas for women turning 90 image

Julia

Hello everyone,
Here's a short synopsis of the tribulation:

My bf of 10 months and I have been living together. I moved in with him-- into his "hide-out". He has been dealing with his mom's Lou Garag's disease getting worse over the past year, so naturally, he wants to hide-out from everything. Why he got into a relationship with me has no reason, as he and I have discussed, but the obvious answer is that we fell in love, and were, and still are, best friends. Lately, well, over Christmas break, I went out east to meet the rest of his family and spend time with them. It was amazing, pleasant, and very satisfying, but stressful, and even dramatic at times... So, generally, the fact that I need to "come up for air" and can't really live with his suicidal depression anymore, affects how I deal with my own issues, and so I've decided to move out, but stay around the same area. We want to stay together, and have discussed our issues about a)constant arguing, b) how this move is best, c) how our relationship feels like it would take a 180 degree turn when we both have our own spaces again....

I knew our love was growing all this time, and even though I didn't have a long-term idea of how long I was going to live in his "bat cave", I knew, and still know, that our relationship, at the core, is incredibly solid, especially because we started out as friends for about a year and a half before we decided to date.

The problem is the difficulty of lessoning how much we see each other, even physical contact, just so we don't dive into an argument. I have never lived with a bf before this, and he had never lived with a gf, so, we really had no idea how to "argue correctly". We have given each other space in the past, but given his deep depression, and discontent with standing under the cloud with him (in the same quarters, day after day), has called for me to just find my own place.....

I feel better, and sleep better, knowing that he and I will be able to see each other when we WANT to, and take care of business without sacrificing comfortable living space or trying not to be bothered by the other doing something. BUT, he is encredibly private, steadfast, and does not express affection well..... and lately, it is entirely and reasonably doubtful sometimes that he even still loves me.... He says we are not over, that he wants things to be pleasant, joyous, comfortable, loving, and peaceful. We all know that doesn't happen all the time within relationships, but for us, it has been about 90% the other way around, but when it's good, it's great!! This has only been going downhill for the past 3 months I think..

Concise concern:
I am pleased and greatful that we both respect one another, and are best friends, so that we realize the ACTUAL amount of space one needs, emotionally. I love him, and trust him, so that we can get through this.

A) What should I do in the mean time whilst trying to ignore touching and kissing my own bf, as we sleep apart (in separate rooms) for the next week?
B) Should I refrain from telling him I still love him and still want to be with him, when it doesn't SEEM that he feels the same, but he SAYS he feels the same?
C) We are trying to avoid each other, but love each other very very much, so this is just really hard.......

Any general tips.... much appreciated!!!!!

Thanks :)

Answer
First off, are you another one who is "misusing" the word depression? I surely pray you are because i'm getting some seriously bad overwhelming feelings here, has he actually been diagnosed with depression or situation depression ? Situational depression does pass, depression does not and an "attempt" at controlling it with meds "is" necessary.
These, my friend, are extremely important questions given the situation you are describing. If he has actually been diagnosed with depression previously, he is showing some very disturbing signs, and i would now ask if he has given you anything such as a gift, something precious or important to him, something he has kept a long time, a lot of men, not being sentimental creatures don't always do this, but women and teens who suffer depression often do.
Depression worsens with age, stress and/or situation. If he has been diagnosed at any point, and i get the feeling he has, then you seriously better seek help. If he is suffering depression on top of what his moms going through, don't you dare find ways of avoiding him, this is not about working things out or giving space, not in the manner he's got in mind and the rush to have you out says he can't take anymore no matter how much he loves you. Love, nor a layman can be of absolutely no help to him at this point.
Not knowing the answers to the fore mentioned questions, i will not take this further, nor do i wish to put a scare into you unnecessarily but if i'm right, he needs help like, yesterday.

My Jamaican in-laws don't like me???!!!?

**ME**

Ok..not to say that it's only a 'Jamaican' thing. But that's what they are, so it is what it is. I emphasize 'Jamaican' because I'm feeling that it's because of my nationality. My issue is..

My hubby and I have been together for years...and in turn we are now happily married. He is a jamaican national...turned 'american' citizen by way of you know....I'm from the US..etc etc..

Anyway...his friends and most family 'don't like' me. Or shoud I say, the 'idea' of me. For I have never formally met them...so I'm not understanding why.

They don't disrespect me in any way...but it's like they just plain out don't RESPECT me. They always refer to me with an adjective...like 'foreign' or something describing me as being an American. OH YEAH!...and a YANKEE!

I don't want to explain all my experiences in detail..all in all, I'm feeling like this:

They think I'm like a downgrade or that my husband 'settled for less' by marrying an American girl.

What's up with that? I love my husband for who he is, not because he is Jamaican..and vice versa. Might I add, I LOVE the culture..and he loves the American culture. So what's all the animosity about?

The only ones that are nice are the ones that 'beg'. I find this to be ridiculous.

Is there like a big cultural issue in Jamaica when it comes to marrying one of a different nationality? (not only american)
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I agree with you miss 'highly favored'.
I am familiar with the terminology 'foreign' and 'yankee' etc. What I'm saying is that when they call..they know my name!..but they don't call and say stuff like..how are you and 'foreign' doing? And you and 'yankee'....instead of just using my name. I'm trying to be positive about it, but it seems like disrespect.

BUT yes...if they don't like it..oh well!
(i jacked that last paragraph all up!)
I meant that

'they DO call and say.....'

Answer
Honestly? There coudl be MANY different reasons for the treatment you describe.

1. Could be paranoia on your part. I doubt this is the case, but you could be reading too deeply into thier calling you a 'foreigner'. As unlikely as it is i must suggest this as a possibility.

2. It could also be a DEEP family trait, that is very much prejudiced against people of other cultures or races. In my family, 90% of all those who have 'succesful' marriages are married to either Jamaicans or at least people of carribean descent. You husband may very well have evolved away from this trait, and adapted so much to US culture that in the long run it will be a non-issue.

3. The other MOST SERIOUS risk is that he has NOT evolved. If he still holds the cultural prejudices deep down, that fact could be playing a role in why his family sound that way.

Solution:
Your husband. He is the best person to talk to his family discreetly and let them know you don't like it. Its also important for you to spend some 'broke time' in jamaica. By that? i mean come here with him and spend FAMILY time that is focussed on your getting to know everyone and them getting to know and relate to you as a human being... you can bring some gifts, but you dont want them to see you as a wealthy "money tree"...so dont brign too much money. Learn some jamaican cooking from the women in his family. Go do stuff with your nephews and nieces and cousins etc. At some point? You will feel safe letting them know how you feel about that 'foreigner' tag. They will eventually take it off you quite ceremoniously.

Be forewarned that like any in-laws? Some may NEVER like you, but that's there choice. All you will do is make sure that it isnt because of anythign you've done or have failed to do.

As strange as it sounds? The name-calling may make it seem unique, but All of this is still the normal process by which families try to come together after a marriage. The fact that there is physical and cultural DISTANCE makes it a bit more 'interesting' and makes it easier for misunderstandings to occur. i doubt it would be much different if you were from italy and carried your jamaican husband home...to italy, or if you were mexican or russian or anythign like that.

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