Van
Hello,
I need some suggestions/ideas on what I could buy for my colleagues, and where online I can buy them and have them delivered fast.
I have 8 colleagues, they're all women (age ranging from 28 to 45), we work in an office environment (Accounting office) - and I wouldn't like to spend over a $100 for all the gifts.
your suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks in advance
Answer
I am not an expert on gifts. And it is really difficult when it is an office. I have worked places that outlaw gifts because it does put people in a fix. If you give something too expensive, people feel bad because of what they gave. If it is too cheap, you get people upset. If you can do it, you could give something that you made. The people recognize the effort and it is hard to judge the value. We even did that with the kids when they were growing up. If you could get things that mean something to the area that you grew up in, it can give people something to remember you by if and when you leave. Certainly there are woman specific things like perfume or a cream that you think they might like. But that is often people specific and tastes are different. (at least this question was in English)
I am not an expert on gifts. And it is really difficult when it is an office. I have worked places that outlaw gifts because it does put people in a fix. If you give something too expensive, people feel bad because of what they gave. If it is too cheap, you get people upset. If you can do it, you could give something that you made. The people recognize the effort and it is hard to judge the value. We even did that with the kids when they were growing up. If you could get things that mean something to the area that you grew up in, it can give people something to remember you by if and when you leave. Certainly there are woman specific things like perfume or a cream that you think they might like. But that is often people specific and tastes are different. (at least this question was in English)
Gift Ideas For My Boyfriend?
Aimee
I need some advice for what to get my boyfriend. I have a few things in mind, but I'm not sure how they'll work out. We're both fifteen and have only been dating for 2 weeks now. The gifts are for Valentine's Day.
(Yes, I do know that Valentine's Day is over, but we go to different schools and live 45-ish minutes away from each other, so we decided to just make plans and create another Valentine's Day.)
1. He loves the color green (I figured I could wrap whatever I get up in green.)
2. I'm getting him pretzels (It's a joke we had before we started dating. Along with this, I think I'm going to get him a box of air heads because he's my blonde air head.)
3. He loves the beach (I'm not quite sure if I can incorporate anything beach-y. We live near Pittsburgh, PA... there's no beach near here.)
4. He has a Kindle, PS3, Ipod Touch, and Cell Phone.
With that, I know that he plays games like GTA, COD, and Battlefield 3.
He's like obsessed with his Kindle, but he's not an avid book reader.
(He watches The Walking Dead, but I'm not sure if he's REALLY into it, one of those people who can't miss an episode. I saw that there was a video game out for it on the PS3 and I figured I'd pre-order it for him and everything. Similarities to COD to a point? Any opinions on this?)
5. His favorite song is Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down, but he's not really completely into the band.
6. His favorite desserts are Ice Cream (Rocky Road), Doughnuts, and Cake. (I figured I could make cupcakes but...)
7. He loves the Regular Looney Toons and Beavis and Butthead.
8. His dream job is to be an actor
9. He does Karate
10. Our first date was iceskating (I saw online this cute idea of making an invitation for a date with just the two of us. I think I'm going to do that.)
I already made him a homemade card and do have those ideas listed above, but I don't know how good those ideas are. I know he'll appreciate anything, but still. I'm not a really good gift person. Sorry it's so long, but all the details are really just to explain his likes. Should I go with my ideas, or do you have other ones?
Answer
Don't focus so much on the gift. Focus on what the gift represents. It should be something that is practical, that he'll use often, to remind him of you and a special day you gave him on valentines. The real gift is yourself, and your fulfillment of his needs. The best valentines he could have, therefore, is one where you fulfill all of those needs and show him you can continue to do so.
All guys have the same four basic needs. They are food, sex, ego, and rest.
Food is quite literally food. For guys food is equivalent to love, for a very simple reason. The first woman who ever loved him was his mother, and she fed him. Those concepts are forever linked, starting from the womb. If you give him food, homecooked you made yourself not something you just bought, he'll know that you care about him, and that you can provide for his physical needs.
The second physical need he has is for sex. Now you're both young so you may not be sexually active yet, but for guys sex is more than just intercourse. Really any physical contact with you is going to be interpreted by his male brain as sex. Holding your hand, slow dancing with you, a hug, that's all going to fulfill his need for sex. So on valentines, and just as often as possible, have physical contact with your boyfriend, even if it's fairly PG. Depending on the guy, his maturity, and his preferences, different levels of physical contact may or may not satisfy his needs. Your guy might be satisfied with just a simple kiss, a full-on make-out session, or even more. Whatever you're both comfortable doing, you should give your boyfriend on valentines to show him you can take care of his physical need for intimacy.
The two psychological needs all guys have start with ego. Ego is his self-esteem, his feeling of importance and value, specifically with regards to his relationship with you. All guys in relationships need to feel that they're valued in the relationship, that they are irreplaceable, and that only they can satisfy you. You may feel your boyfriend already has a big ego, but I guarantee that where you are concerned, he is vulnerable and unsure of himself. Guys are programmed, genetically and socially, to want to please their romantic partners. If we are failing to do so, or just get that impression, we are crushed. The best way to feed your boyfriend's ego is to let him know how important he is to you, how great of a guy he is for you. The best way to destroy your boyfriend's ego is to compare him to other guys, or criticize him personally. It's perfectly okay to criticize his actions, but make sure it's just his actions. Don't call him names if he's done something wrong, just tell him he did something wrong and ask him to change that specific behavior. If he does something right, praise him and praise the behavior. Giving a guy good feedback will keep his ego happy and keep him keeping you happy. For valentines, take some time alone with him to tell him what a fantastic boyfriend he is, with specifics. Let him know that he's the only guy you'd ever want.
The second psychological need is rest. When a guy chases (courts, woos, dates) a girl, it wears him out. All that time and effort he puts into you and your relationship, it's all to make you happy and win you over. He's trying to catch you, that's why he's chasing. But no guy can run forever before he collapses or gives up the chase. Periodically, you need to make it clear to him that he's caught you, and you're not going anywhere. It's okay to make him chase you a bit more from time to time, guys expect that, but once he's won you over you need to give him rest. Let him know it's okay to take care of his other needs, outside the relationship. He needs friends, hobbies, sports, etc. Make sure he makes time for those other activities, and let him know that you'll wait for him patiently to resume the chase when he's rested up. The more rested and balanced he is, the more energy he'll have for you, so it's win-win.
Satisfy all four of his needs in a big way on valentines, and only after all that, give him your present to remind him of that really great day. The present should be practical, something he'll use often, and every time he uses it he'll remember he's with this really great girl who satisfies all four of his needs. Bring him some treats, touch him and let him touch you, tell him how great he is, and give him permission to hang out with his friends and not attend to your every need. By the time you give him a gift at the end of the day, he'll be so thrilled with you.
Don't focus so much on the gift. Focus on what the gift represents. It should be something that is practical, that he'll use often, to remind him of you and a special day you gave him on valentines. The real gift is yourself, and your fulfillment of his needs. The best valentines he could have, therefore, is one where you fulfill all of those needs and show him you can continue to do so.
All guys have the same four basic needs. They are food, sex, ego, and rest.
Food is quite literally food. For guys food is equivalent to love, for a very simple reason. The first woman who ever loved him was his mother, and she fed him. Those concepts are forever linked, starting from the womb. If you give him food, homecooked you made yourself not something you just bought, he'll know that you care about him, and that you can provide for his physical needs.
The second physical need he has is for sex. Now you're both young so you may not be sexually active yet, but for guys sex is more than just intercourse. Really any physical contact with you is going to be interpreted by his male brain as sex. Holding your hand, slow dancing with you, a hug, that's all going to fulfill his need for sex. So on valentines, and just as often as possible, have physical contact with your boyfriend, even if it's fairly PG. Depending on the guy, his maturity, and his preferences, different levels of physical contact may or may not satisfy his needs. Your guy might be satisfied with just a simple kiss, a full-on make-out session, or even more. Whatever you're both comfortable doing, you should give your boyfriend on valentines to show him you can take care of his physical need for intimacy.
The two psychological needs all guys have start with ego. Ego is his self-esteem, his feeling of importance and value, specifically with regards to his relationship with you. All guys in relationships need to feel that they're valued in the relationship, that they are irreplaceable, and that only they can satisfy you. You may feel your boyfriend already has a big ego, but I guarantee that where you are concerned, he is vulnerable and unsure of himself. Guys are programmed, genetically and socially, to want to please their romantic partners. If we are failing to do so, or just get that impression, we are crushed. The best way to feed your boyfriend's ego is to let him know how important he is to you, how great of a guy he is for you. The best way to destroy your boyfriend's ego is to compare him to other guys, or criticize him personally. It's perfectly okay to criticize his actions, but make sure it's just his actions. Don't call him names if he's done something wrong, just tell him he did something wrong and ask him to change that specific behavior. If he does something right, praise him and praise the behavior. Giving a guy good feedback will keep his ego happy and keep him keeping you happy. For valentines, take some time alone with him to tell him what a fantastic boyfriend he is, with specifics. Let him know that he's the only guy you'd ever want.
The second psychological need is rest. When a guy chases (courts, woos, dates) a girl, it wears him out. All that time and effort he puts into you and your relationship, it's all to make you happy and win you over. He's trying to catch you, that's why he's chasing. But no guy can run forever before he collapses or gives up the chase. Periodically, you need to make it clear to him that he's caught you, and you're not going anywhere. It's okay to make him chase you a bit more from time to time, guys expect that, but once he's won you over you need to give him rest. Let him know it's okay to take care of his other needs, outside the relationship. He needs friends, hobbies, sports, etc. Make sure he makes time for those other activities, and let him know that you'll wait for him patiently to resume the chase when he's rested up. The more rested and balanced he is, the more energy he'll have for you, so it's win-win.
Satisfy all four of his needs in a big way on valentines, and only after all that, give him your present to remind him of that really great day. The present should be practical, something he'll use often, and every time he uses it he'll remember he's with this really great girl who satisfies all four of his needs. Bring him some treats, touch him and let him touch you, tell him how great he is, and give him permission to hang out with his friends and not attend to your every need. By the time you give him a gift at the end of the day, he'll be so thrilled with you.
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